A day in hell

A tattered partly burnt umbrella stands next to the door, SATAN enters with SADDAM and ADOLF each holding equally tattered umbrellas.  All think they’re trendy wearing off-the-arse jeans and basketball tops.

 

SATAN

(Sincere)

These things are great.  There never has been such an invention so bloody useless.

 

ADOLF

(Laughing)

Always condemned to hell.

 

SADDAM

Great stuff.  No one knows umbrellas don’t work but people still use them.  Throw them away, anywhere, the way the living do.

 

(They writhe a little as they brush off some of their partly burnt clothes)

 

SATAN

A bit like your pretzels, Saddam.  The Allied Forces thought they were looking for missiles and bombs, when Bush actually thought the WMD were really pretzels and segues.

(All laugh heartily)

ADOLF

(Stifling laughter)

I love that joke.

 

SADDAM

(Calming down)

Ahh…  Weren’t we going to practice our music today?

 

ADOLF

Where’s my banjo?

 

SATAN

Here it is… with my accordion and Saddam’s recorder.

 

SADDAM

Great, these are vile instruments.

 

(They all pick up their instruments)

 

ADOLF

Lowest of the low.

 

SATAN

What are we playing today?  The Doors?  Joe Dolan?

 

SADDAM

Where’s himself with the Hammond organ?

 

SATAN

CJ?  He’s crying off sick again.

 

ADOLF

Like always.  We can still practice.  We don’t even know what the other’s playing anyway as we’re all tone deaf.

SADDAM

Ahh…  improvised jazz it is then.

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